Cycles of Mountains

Once again the hands reach out
Side views of something distant
Created intensity and reflective
  something meant to be
My feet are barely on the floor
I want to fall
Yet my consciousness keeps on its critique
The Spirit waits and moves
Yet I stay clearly on my feet
something meant to be
For a moment I let go
Gifts and dreams, clarity and meaning
Invested in me
Take their place and increase my faith
something meant to be
I see a mountain and it is no longer in the way
Its routes are clear, size absent of fear
And then I see
something meant to be.

Perception

How can I see the clouds when you wonder is it going to rain?

When do I let go and become what you are trying to give away?

I was flicking through a newspaper just as you did

But you saw hollow heads and dispersed red

I thought of a friend and a temporal past.

I held my hand like wounds on a soldier and yet you fought like a child in danger

Caught in a breath unprepared to release

A future need

To be laid before his feet.

What More Do We Need?

OK. Just watched ‘chumscrubber’ – a diffusion of teenage angst and dis-connectedness between inter-family relationships. Pill popping culture for avoidance answers, fictional computer characters replacing physical maternal and paternal links etc. Then i thought of camping, the joy of camping – no seriously i can be one in such an experience, my family by my side literally (well at night!), the seasonal clock dictating sleep patterns, the community of fellow campers and the surreal experience of such a community. We share nothing in common but our humanity and ‘hi, are you off today…ok…well take care’. Question to all is, c’mon really what more do you need right now in your life, c’mon what is it? eh eh eh?!?

OK

OK! What a good place to start, okay it sounds like the total antithesis to risk – a board game i was made to play by a mad wizard-like-thing! But OK gets us through most days – at the moment i am neither a cloud nor a stone but a mixture of both slightly near the entering phase of a dream and the coming out of a sleep! OK – a computer generated device for superficial and yet plausible responses to most questions or directives. Are we going the way of V and nanny-state (although i respect most nannies) – OK, should we stick our heads in the political oasis and sing songs about NOT looking back in anger – OK, does viruses spread and rot the land from labortaries -OK. Are you OK, yes i’m OK

Dreaming Daughter

I can close my eyes and she is no longer there
I can cover my ears and she is no longer there
I can still my mind and she is no longer there
Yes, I can do such things

But

I cannot close my heart for she is always there.

I can listen to a friend and she is no longer there
I can play a game and she is no longer there
I can argue and scream and she is no longer there

But

I cannot close my heart for she is always there.

I can plan and dream and she is no longer there
I can fall and hurt and she is no longer there
I can love another and she is no longer there

But

I cannot close my heart for she is always there.

The Lonely Tree

For a moment I was sure that others gathered here
  Time left its mark and silence grew in force
It was only the last sunset that called my name
  Time left its mark and silence grew in force
Still I stand and still I have no fear
  Time left its mark and silence grew in force
What future tightens its grip around the sane
Time left
Silence

16th March 2007 will soon become the 17th March 2007

My view now is not what it was then

Now I see lakes and islands; a misty glow of the sun upon ripples and leaves

Then it was twisted bodies and a ripping of souls (mainly mine)

Now in the distance three trees to my right

Then three ladies leaning heavy on my lost frame

Now hills mark the distance my eyes will allow me to see

Then my eyes no longer sacred, no longer clear

Now all is in perspective. Defined. Guided.

Then I felt sick and dragged where another led

Now I am empty even though the view is inspiring

Then I released my fullness out of view

Now, only now I awaken

Then I was asleep in my flesh

Now I am dis-jointed and tired

Then I could have searched until the morning

Now where do I go?

Then I did not care the way (only slight twitches of danger)

Now I want to swim in water breathable

Then I drowned for the thousandth time

Now I seek for the view to become me

Then I could not see

Now, only now can I hear you

Then I heard only rumours and all I ignored

Now my hands mean something. I desire a scan to erase. A hope to remain.

Lee Barnes

‘If not now, then when?’